on a day like today

is when I hate living in a 3rd world country...

Normally I think it's quite a privilege, an eye opening experience and definitely an advantage for someone like me to live in a developing country...

Except for today

Imagine a street that looks right from the scene of slumdog millionaire, there's a big restaurant on the corner where a man hands people greasy sandwiches with his big hands and black dirty nails. Opposite that is an ironing guy using his feet to maneuver a big iron, the street unpaved and the cars parked with a layer of dust and quite a bit of rust on the sides of their bumpers. A poor old woman, who looks like she's not a day under 90, sits with her cheek resting on her hand and a bag of bread to sell next to her. Right in front of her a guy passes on a bike with a box in the front that holds termes - a yellow seed - and paper cones - he uses his small hand with nails that have been bitten like there’s no tomorrow to grab some termes, stuff it down the cone and pass it to the buyer. He kisses the old raggedy one pound note and stuffs it down his pocket.

On that very same street is where I will go get a medical checkup for the National Insurance. Inside i have a few lines of thought: 1) i don't need to be doing this, it's not like I’m ever going to use a public hospital -  I hope 2) thank god and Ericsson for my insurance at the only 2 hospitals in Egypt that meet international standards 3) do i really need to do this?  4) i hope they don't stick me with a needle 5) what am i going to say if they show up with a syringe and i didn't see them open it. 6) my hep c and hiv tests came back negative, let's keep them negative please!

I walk in, they are mopping the floors, the water is grey with very little white soap bubbles in them. The man greets me with a smile takes my name, i go pay then i'm shown to the second floor where a female doctor greets me. She's short and round and veiled with a frown on her face - killer combo. She tells me "is this what you call 5:30" "they had me do a few things first before coming up" "you should be on time" i'm thinking in my head, oh boy i'm gonna give that lady attitude coz who does she think she is! I retract my thought and think, who do I think I am. I go in a corner covered left and right with curtains made out of latex in a color that used to be off white but time has taken a toll on it and it looks like a mesh between beige and grey. She does a bunch of stupid tests, eyes me up and down and asks me to lift up my shirt and holds the stethoscope. She basically asks me to flash her so in my head I’m like "shit, this is uncomfortable" I hold my breath, close my eyes really tight until she's done, it only takes a second. My mind drifts, my level of discomfort reinforces my belief that I am, in fact,  straight - i could watch the show "L-word" just in case i need further reinforcement..

Ok snap back; sit down on a chair, regular eye check, and just as I was about to let out a sign of relief for successfully avoiding the grueling duo (syringe and cup) the Doctor hands me….a cup!
Damn it, it was so close. Resigned i take my cup which has the number 318 written on it, the cup looks old and probably used. I walk into the bathroom which reeks of urine. The floor is wet. The toilet seat splashed with water (I hope). 3 other urine samples are sitting out on a table next to the toilet. I reach for my wet wipes - thank the lord for wet wipes. For the first time in my life I have trouble doing my business, despite of the constant sound of water dripping. 

I'm done, now I need to put this piece of paper with colors on its tip in the sample and off I go. As I leave the doctor, which I had chosen to hate, tells me "you're a pretty girl, I hope someone's said that to you before". She catches me compeletely off guard and i'm surprised, she didn't need to say this. I try to recall the last time someone's said that to me. I say "thank you" as sweetly as i can and think, ok maybe she's not that bad.

Downstairs I take my signed and stamped paper and walk home. It takes me 5 minutes to get home - I head straight for the shower - thank the heavens for Dettol. My mind drifts, i think i'll write a song about how much i love Dettol

The end