21 ways to find a man

1) go ex-list style. go through a list of your exes and see which one is worth another go
2) join a social club - in that case be flexible in the looks aspect
3) take some sushi cooking classes - ok i said find a man period! not necessarily a straight one
4) start adding and becoming friends with random people on facebook and agree to meet them - risks involve weirdos, freaks and sexually frustrated egyptians
5) start a "are you my somebody" blog like dey and his friend
6) give in and date your couldn't-be-more-platonic-friend who keeps insinuating his interest, but ultimately ruin your friendship forever since it's not going to work
7) join an online dating site - if you're in Sweden, then you're on the right path; if you're in Europe rule out arabs and you've got a 50-50 chance; if you're in the US - DON'T DO IT serial killers everywhere; if you're in egypt you effin' lose!
8) go through your facebook friends' friends and ask your friends to match make
9) give in and tell your mom and ants to set you up
10) develop a brain aneurysm that makes you hallucinate and see the man of your dreams - oh wait no, that only works if you're Izzy on Grey's Anatomy...(seriously the writers need a new plot line)
11) create sexual tension and drama with one of your friends that is totally a figment of your imagination and talk about it all the time. it'll feel like you have a man when you actually don't
12) leave random comments on other people's blogs and show interest in their lives in hopes they will reciprocate that interest, then you meet and start a life changing relationship. hang on it worked for them .....
13) accept one of the advances from your christian colleagues who think you're "one of them". Muslim schmuslim - god will understand your frustration and accept you moonlighting as a devout church-goer.
14) get a dog and give it a man's name, but refrain from all forms of kinky shit - god is watching beyatch! and even if he's snoozing - uhm it just ain't cool!
15) join a trendy gym, go there completely made up in stylish work out clothes and big sun glasses; don't sweat too much and look approachable
16) join weightwatchers - low self esteem and a little padding on the side = potential!
17) if you can afford it go on a yoga retreat somewhere; be sure you're ready for long distance though, those retreats are not where you live
18) go on a charter flight to europe and make some friends en route
19) start a monthly AIESEC Alumni mixer, if you're not an AIESECer then you're a loser!
20) find some international festival with some youth diversity theme and go represent (booty calls still count as men; so do drunken one night stands)
21) play golf - i.e. shop in the older (but also richer) men department - coz at this point you are desperate


DISCLAIMER! This is intended for fun and humor only - if you take it seriously you do so at your own risk, i will not take the blame for this mumbo jumbo that is entirely induced by my cold-medicine overdose and severe boredom.