a beginner's guide to egyptian CVs

The Egyptian CV has a specific purpose: to share as much information as possible about a person's life. It is not, i repeat, it is NOT with the purpose to get an interview.
The only differentiating aspect between the business people and non-business people is that business people can align fonts and make it look presentable to semi-presentable.

The following tips should be helpful in writing an egyo-style CV:
1) Write as much information as possible: marital status, military status, children, anything you want to share
2) Put your age - it's the first thing people look at when determining your eligibility
3) Write down each and every single training course you've attended even if it's a 4 hour training 10 years ago
4) Exagerate and make things more grand than they actually are: you can do so by adding words like advanced, master, senior, extensive, expert
5) List down every single job you've ever had; even the time you've sold juice in the Viva Bianki festival on the beach
6) It's not necessary to note down achievements, just describe what you do
7) It's also not necessary to start your sentences in the same format, just write what you feel
8) Share every skill you have, even the one you've obtained in 1993 learning how to work with DOS and windows 3.11
9) Spell check is optional
10) unified font styles and sizes are optional
11) Length shows strength, a one pager means you've not done much - so don't embarass yourself
12) Hobbies should be included; riding horses in parks and long walks on the beach says a lot about your ability to work and produce output
13) If you have any additional nationalities add them, you'll look cool
14) It's vital to mention if you have a car and can drive, even if you're applying for desk jobs
15) Insert cool logos from the companies you work for - it'll add some color and keep people awake while they read your 5 page long CV

And finally if you want to be really cool, include a page at the end with Quotes about what people have said about you.