21 ways to find a man

1) go ex-list style. go through a list of your exes and see which one is worth another go
2) join a social club - in that case be flexible in the looks aspect
3) take some sushi cooking classes - ok i said find a man period! not necessarily a straight one
4) start adding and becoming friends with random people on facebook and agree to meet them - risks involve weirdos, freaks and sexually frustrated egyptians
5) start a "are you my somebody" blog like dey and his friend
6) give in and date your couldn't-be-more-platonic-friend who keeps insinuating his interest, but ultimately ruin your friendship forever since it's not going to work
7) join an online dating site - if you're in Sweden, then you're on the right path; if you're in Europe rule out arabs and you've got a 50-50 chance; if you're in the US - DON'T DO IT serial killers everywhere; if you're in egypt you effin' lose!
8) go through your facebook friends' friends and ask your friends to match make
9) give in and tell your mom and ants to set you up
10) develop a brain aneurysm that makes you hallucinate and see the man of your dreams - oh wait no, that only works if you're Izzy on Grey's Anatomy...(seriously the writers need a new plot line)
11) create sexual tension and drama with one of your friends that is totally a figment of your imagination and talk about it all the time. it'll feel like you have a man when you actually don't
12) leave random comments on other people's blogs and show interest in their lives in hopes they will reciprocate that interest, then you meet and start a life changing relationship. hang on it worked for them .....
13) accept one of the advances from your christian colleagues who think you're "one of them". Muslim schmuslim - god will understand your frustration and accept you moonlighting as a devout church-goer.
14) get a dog and give it a man's name, but refrain from all forms of kinky shit - god is watching beyatch! and even if he's snoozing - uhm it just ain't cool!
15) join a trendy gym, go there completely made up in stylish work out clothes and big sun glasses; don't sweat too much and look approachable
16) join weightwatchers - low self esteem and a little padding on the side = potential!
17) if you can afford it go on a yoga retreat somewhere; be sure you're ready for long distance though, those retreats are not where you live
18) go on a charter flight to europe and make some friends en route
19) start a monthly AIESEC Alumni mixer, if you're not an AIESECer then you're a loser!
20) find some international festival with some youth diversity theme and go represent (booty calls still count as men; so do drunken one night stands)
21) play golf - i.e. shop in the older (but also richer) men department - coz at this point you are desperate


DISCLAIMER! This is intended for fun and humor only - if you take it seriously you do so at your own risk, i will not take the blame for this mumbo jumbo that is entirely induced by my cold-medicine overdose and severe boredom.

Toying with some new year's resolutions

It's that time of year where you think of new resolutions and start prepping for the new year.
I don't even need to check on my resolutions from last year, i'm sure i failed them all, i fell so far off the waggon from my "healthy lifestyle" one i can't even see the waggon anymore!

Meh, new year comes old year goes.

So 2009 will be the year of silly resolutions..
I'm toying with:

1) wear make-up to work? seriosuly all the girls look so made up when they go to work here, maybe i should join that secret society

2) buy my first designer bag? Which designer? salvatore fergamos? Chloe? defo not guess or LV, c'est tres baladi :P

3) Joing the addicts and get a blackberry - that champain new one is just so sexy!

4) Learn swedish? for some reason i decided to stick it out in Ericsson for a few more years so maybe it's worth it?

5) Try a new hair color? red head maybe?

6) Own guitar hero like it's never been owned before?

Yalla you tell me what you think my new years resolution should be...

(If you're egyptian then BE POLITE, i get enough of "just shed those last few kilos" and "haven't you eaten enough already" from all my family OK!!!)

Fire away

Jennifer Aniston's new sitcom on NBC

It's called "Sinlge Jen" and tells the story of a golden couple that gets ripped apart by a ultra-sexy femme fatale ice queen. Now, Jenna has to land on her feet. She sturggles with her love life; dating older men, younger men, even considers other women all in an attempt to stop her biological clock from ticking so loudly. Meanwhile her other half is having the time of his life with his oscar winning leading lady and building a little happy family.
It's a good thing Jenna has her good friends to fall back on, dorky forever-together couple Corrie and Dan....

Now get Tina Fey to write a witty 30-rock like script and you've got yourself a winner.
I can see the Nielsen ratings spiking already!

Anyone know an exec at NBC?

Maybe i should do that for a living!

making decisions is hard

especially when you're picking between two equal amounts of shits, but with varying contents.
Which piece of shit will make you less miserable....

i wonder why i ever doubted that big evil corporations feed on your soul until there's nothing left ....

I woke up one day and found out that i'm Chandler!

In with the new..

I'm sitting here waiting for the washing machine to finish its load, so i can hang my pants and go to bed, and i thought i should post about what's been going on.

With life turning very repetitive, the great Cairo exhodus, my job sucking immensly, and scrabble night no longer happening things were not looking so bright. So after a long hot summer i decided it's time to pump up some energy and get out and do smth.

This week i have officially started working an english teacher for two groups of young people at Resala foundation. It's great volunteer work - a. i like teaching b. it feels good to do smth nice to the community c. it's two hours where people H A V E to listen to ME! hoooray!
So it has been cool, lesson planning, and all. I have one group who have weak english, i can totally see them speaking english by the end of December. Totally! this other group, who barely know anything - with those i have no idea how i will manage to bring them to speak full sentences in a meaningful converation... But i guess i'll find out.

On top of that i finally decided to do that one thing that i've wanted to do since i was about 5. That is to learn to play the piano. Everyone has told me that i'm an idiot for starting an instrument at 25. But i will do it anywayz! I have a good feeling about this one...

I'm also planning a trip to paris where, i found out, i will stay not-so-far from the red light district. So i guess the trip's going to be eventful?
Now i'm in planning mode. They say november is the gay festival month for paris, so at least all the men will be groomed!
must buy new camera.

Ok, laundry's done.

x

somehow, somewhere a terrorist is sleeping with a triumphant smile on his face

Sony game delayed over Quran gaffe

friends

Friends have a way of sticking their noses in things that are so not their business, especially after a few drinks.
They think they're helping, when they really need to just bugger off. People who need help, usually ask for it. If they don't ask for it, it's probably coz they don't want it!

I don't know about you but this seems not so hard to fathom for people who think of themselves as smart yuppies.

Blog Hiatus

Due to the lack of any interesting thing in my life, this blog is on hiatus. My futile attempt to keep this blog alive in the past few months have not done blogging any justice.

I've changed the colors of this blog temporarily. The pink will be back, i'm trying to find it.

It's over!

My week from hell is finally over. It was good that i was mentally prepared, because it has been both physically and emotionally exhausting (my poor baby car is hurt real bad).

Reflecting on the last few days i was delivering a training course at work, and i just realized, not once have i rolled up my eyes and thought "oh what idiots". They were all actually really smart, and interesting.
It's nice to meet smart people at work, makes your job a hellovalot easier and fun-ner :P

A perfect end to a long week

My long week has finally come to an end. I was adamant about avoiding Air Algerie at any cost, and the cost was an extra day in Algeria, chillin' by the pool and catching up on the office gossip with a colleague who was equally adamant about avioding the same airline :)

Here's a pic based on Kent's request

I am sooo relaxed now. I should do this more often.

you can run, but you can't hide

I read this interesting article on BBC News about the so-called operation last chance.
"The search for the 94-year-old former SS medical officer has taken investigators from Germany all around the world"

At 94 the dude must be sooo friggin old! I wonder why they even thought he was alive...
Well this is why:
"Heim's daughter has said that her father died in 1993 in Argentina, but a death certificate has never been produced. Neither she nor her two brothers, who live in Germany, have claimed the estimated $1.5m (900,000 euros; £750,000) that sits in a European bank account in Heim's name."

Man i wonder what it feels like to have a father who was a mass murderer! A Nazi! I don't think i'd want his money... or his name...
Oh and how the fuck does a SOCIALIST make this much money 40 years ago! i can't believe there are still those who believe this system actually works. It's like believing the calendar method qualifies as a birth control method, and you can't have alcohol if you want to conceive. You have to be drunk off your ass you want to conceive anyway - i.e. alcohol is a must. (sorry for the reference here, but everyone seems to be popping out little ones around me - so it's the theme for these days)

Here's what the old wrinkly Nazi has done

"According to Holocaust survivors, he performed operations and amputations without anaesthetic to see how much pain his victims could endure. "
"Injecting victims straight into the heart with petrol, water or poison was said to have been his favoured method at Mauthausen. And when he was "bored", he apparently timed patients' deaths with a stopwatch. "
"...cutting off the head of a murdered Jewish prisoner and boiling off the flesh to enable the skull to be used as an exhibit. "
"removed tattooed skin from one victim and turned it into a seat cover."


The argument here is at 94, should the authorities just give up? A frail old man?
Well i think not...

I say find the sicko, get all the relatives of those he killed and have them give him a taste of his own medicine.
In a public square.
Broadcasted live on TV.
All over the world.
In slow motion.
And the background music, should be an evil laugh, muahahahahahaha

But seriously, should they german authorities should be spending their money tracing around 70, 80 and 90 year old sickos? Shouldn't this money be invested better elsewhere? Or donated to charities?
I think it's time for ze germans to move on....

An embarassing day for Superluli

I decided to wikipedia the actual independence day of egypt not the bull shit 23rd of july date.
In the mean time i checked our national anthem, turns out it's made out of not just the one part i know. It's actually made up of 5 parts! and i do not know them.
So i decided to wikipedia Germany's national anthem in the hopes that the song i know by heart is only the first part, there must be other parts too that i do not know. Turns out no - i know the full German National anthem - all of it. I know who wrote the music, when, for whom all of it!
But the Egyptian one? Not!
I am not German, but my school obviously taught me well.
So in my quest to overcome this sheer and utter embarassment i am learning the egyptian national anthem by heart! ALL OF IT!

Shame on me...

empty fridge

My mom was here 10 days ago. That was probably the only time where we had to put some serious thoughts into how we organize our fridge. There was food in it, vegetables of all sorts, rice, soup and loadz of things. For the past 10 days these things have slowly been consumed, the pots have been emptied and some mold has definely grown on some of the green things.
So today i cleaned out the fridge and our fridge is back to it's normal state, a couple of jars of tomato paste, some bread, eggs, cheese, ketchup, and a can of mushrooms.
Order has been restored in casa de luli, nissy and yoyo!

Gender X

In my early AIESEC days the issue of gender came up, and some how it ended up with me saying this quote that has haunted me since then: "I'm gender X"
I can't remember at all the situation in which i have said that.
It's been a while since then, but these days that sentence just rings in my head a lot.
Perhaps it's because Hilary lost the primaries, i was never a supporter, but still a woman in the white house would still be cool.
It's a little upsetting though; the general impression i got was that she'd be taking a huge step for women in Politics. I will purposely neglect the Ghandis and the Buttos, coz let's face it, it don't count unless it's democratic! and there's no democracy in dynasties. But what about Margaret Thatcher? Angela Merkel? Golda Meir? Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf (Africa's first elected female president)?
Perhaps it's because of Kuwaiti women not having a single seat in parliament or the shock i got 2 weeks ago when i found out Swiss women were not allowed to vote till 1971! Seventy One!
Perhaps it's because there's a new power woman appearing around the horizon, and i can't wait to see her run the show.
Or perhaps it's because i work with someone who manages to mention gender issues almost on a daily basis.

You set the limits for yourself, some put their limit at woman. I put mine at Gender X!

"One TV" takes cencorship to a whole new level!

If you live in the Arab world, censorship is something you're used to. Usually it's focused on nudity and sexual content. In the Cinema in Egypt, expect to see the kisses, heavy make-out scenes are sometimes there sometimes not, but anything past that -- enter Scissors!
On TV MBC2 and 4 and One TV (Dubai's TV) the kisses are at a minimum. I think they draw the limit at tongue. No tongue --> ok yes tongue --> Scissors!I have never imagined that sitcoms like Friends and Mad about you would be censored! Seriously!
Annoying as it might be, they're for free - so you can't complain.
If it bothers you so much, get cable, and watch freely.

Yesterday One TV took censorship to a whole new level. They censored content! Actually specific words.
It was that episode where Ben was spending Christmas with Ross, so Ross - being a Jew (gasp) - wanted to teach him all about Hanukah, the festival of lights, a Jewish holiday that is not that big of a deal for Jews. It's seems to me like a good excuse for TV to please the Jewish audience by adding it to their Christmas specials, that way they don't need to dedicate a whole episode about some other more significant Jewish holiday. And all the non-Jews don't mind, coz I mean, it's all about Christmas anyway!
So back to Friends. This episode included a number of words and scenes One TV deemed inappropriate to show.
The word list is: "Jew" "Jewish" "Hanukah" "Festival of Lights"
The scenes included: Lighting all the candles by the window, the story about the Maccabees and how they rebelled against Antiochus IV Epiphanes.
What they forgot to censor is the back-ground music at the end which was so typically a Jewish theme.
After I got over my shock of the lengths they would go to censor, I started thinking why would they possibly censor that! a) it's history b) it's a religion that the Arab Muslims believe in. I mean it happened! It did! What were they trying to do? Erase it from history? What harm could have possibly been done by showing those scenes?
What were they thinking?!
What puzzles me is that they show Seinfeld all the time. WTF?

It used to bother me that Egypt censors all movies that show how the Jews were kicked out of Egypt with the excuse " we don't want to raise sympathy for them" while actually it's an attempt to deny that our country has any dark spots in its history.But it gives me some comfort that at least we don't erase them from the shows and movies! We're not at the absolute bottom of the censorship scum...the gulfies oh so proudly take that spot :P

Ch..Ch..Changes? I think not....

Another year has come and gone. And things are still the same. I'm working at the same company. Living with the same people. Still a miserable size 16. Still single. Still in Egypt.
Basically it's all the same since i turned 22.
Is this what is means to be an adult?
Some things have changed though
i live in a nicer house now (minus ant farm in kitchen), my grandma's no longer here, my belly is a little less visible, and i have a savings account. (albeit a near-empty one)
Still, all signs of adulthood kicking in.

So, is this the year things change? Not really!
According to the plan, this year will pretty much be the same as the year before, and the one before, and the one before. It doesn't make sense to move jobs/countries/houses just yet.
It's not that it's bad, on the contrary, it's good, really good. It's just all the same, same, same, same.

So the question is, how do i get through yet another stepping-stone-year without blowing a fuse out of boredom?

P.S. I would like to point my fingers at the writers guild of america for causing 30% of my boredom this past year because of their strike. Only 16 episodes of grey's and DH in one season? talk about injustice....well it's not if it's compared to darfur or something - perpective people! perspective!

BTW; this rant is because i've just turned 25.

I still don't get it

I must have been 11 when the movie "The Bodyguard" came out or something. I remember seering it the movies and paying 4 pounds for the nice medium priced seats. Now the cheap seats are 20 at least.
When the movie ended, i didn't get it. Why did they not get together at the end? So i asked my mom, why did they not get married, if they were that much in love?
This was my first lesson in racism.
I remember arguing with my mom and doubting her common sense. I spent the first chunk of my teenage years thinking she didn't really understand the movie.
16 years later and the concept seems a little less alien for me, but still alien!
I am secretly still hoping there's some other twist in the story for why they did not end up together other than color...

well, it's on TV now - i am 16 years wiser than when i first saw this movie - maybe i did miss something...

I'm going to see Jerry Springer?

I received an unexpected email from Mr. Jerry Springer today!

Thank you for your Jerry Springer Show ticket request. Please read the following information in its entirety. You are presently booked for tickets on April 28th at 4:15pm, Arrival time is 3:30pm central standard time. You will be here for approximately three and a half hours from arrival time. Early departure is not permitted. Everyone must be 18 years or older and will be required to present valid, non- expired photo identification. We only accept the follow id's: Driver's license, state ID, passport or military ID. WE MAKE NO EXCEPTIONS! Your tickets will be held at the door under the out of state list. Please make sure everyone in your party is dressed nicely. We do not allow any logos, sports, jerseys, sports paraphernalia, hats, sweatshirts or sweatpants. Our address is 454 N. Columbus Drive we are located in the NBC Tower. If need to cancel a reservation call us at (312) 321-5366, once your reservation is booked you will not be contacted or have access to a phone representative. We hope you enjoy your visit to Chicago and the Jerry Springer Show experience.
* Please contact us if any handicapped accessibility is necessary.
* Please print this email and bring along.
* Please email us or call us if you cannot attend or need to change the date you were booked for.

Eric and I were planning to do that together...
Too bad that's not going to happen.

Anyone interested in some Jerry Springer Tickets?

The house of Geeks

My house is officially the house of geeks.
Nisrin and I spend a nice evening doing statistics on our scrabble games, which resulted in the following:

Tuesday Night's Scrabble Hall of Fame:
- Annika - won a total of 5 games
- Luli - won a total of 5 games
- Nisrin - won a total of 4 games

Tuesday Night's Scrabble Hall of Shame:
- Nisrin - lost a total of 6 games
- Luli - lost a total of 6 games
- Chris - lost a total of 4 games
- Kent - lost a total of 4 games

Top 10 Word Scores:
1) Annika - 98 points
2) Nisrika - 68 points (teamup between Nisrin and Annika)
3) Kent - 67 points
4) Purvi - 63 points
5) Annika - 59 points
6) Annika - 55 points
7) Nisrin - 52 points
8) Chris - 50 points
9) Luke - 46 points
10) Annika - 44 points

And just for fun we looked at the regulars and calculated some performance ratios: (the ratios are for games played individually not when paired with someone)

Annika: In the 14 games she played she came in:
First: 36%
Last: 0%
Middle: 64%

Chris: In the 12 games he played he came in:
First: 25%
Last: 33%
Middle: 42%

Kent: In the 9 games he played he came in:
First: 33.5%
Last: 44.5%
Middle: 22%

Luli: In the 21 games she played she came in:
First: 24%
Last: 28%
Middle: 47.5%

Luke: In the 8 times he played he came in:
First: 37.5%
Last: 25%
Middle: 37.5%

Nisrin: In the 20 times she played she came in:
First: 20%
Last: 30%
Middle: 50%

Interestingly, it's Luke who holds the best personal stats, closely followed by Annika.
Nisrin rules the middle place along with myself.
Kent and Chris come last most of the time - haha suckerzzzz

10 random things you might not know about me...

Following Nora's suit:

1) I take multi-tasking to an extreme. In the morning i brush my teeth while i pick out what to wear. I heat the water while I'm getting dressed. I comb my hair while packing my bag. This is only the first 15 minutes of my day, imagine how the rest goes

2) my hands have to play with something all the time. Mostly I either play with my hair or i cut out tiny pieces of papers and roll them with my fingers then move them around from finger to finger.

3) [this item has been deleted due to the number of embarassing comments i received, instead see below]

3') I eat my bananas like a bunny using my front two teeth only. I never let anyone see it other than my family, and by accident nisrin too :P

4) I wash my hands 20 times a day

5) I organize my money in my wallet - big notes at the back, small notes in the front

6) I can decide on what my dream will be this night, and i have constant day-dreams at any given point of time

7) If you're telling me something i am not interested i space out and know when to make appropriate noises and expressions and nods to make you think i am interested

8) I can never stick to a budget, so i make a new one every few days to pretend i am sticking to a budget

9) I have serious road rage! Like no rage you've ever seen

10) I can sleep at any time, in any place, yet i am always sleep deprived...

I'm cooking today

Well i realize Kent will contest the fact that this would qualify as cooking, but if i am in the kitchen for longer than the three minutes it takes to make a toasted cheese sandwich, then it counts!
The world's unhealthiest menu is:
... drum roll please ...
Fried Mozzarella Sticks - that i am breading myself
Corn on the Cob - that i am boiling myself :P
Mashed Potatoes - courtesy of Mrs. Betty Crocker
Doritos - courtesy of the delivery guy at the grocery store by the corner
Old El Paso Salsa dip (which is somehow also made by Mrs. Crocker,,,,bless her)

I'm somewhat excited about this meal....

oh, and in case you've missed this, i am making it for the scrabble night that is slowly loosing it's international charm with the great Cairo exodus that's been going on lately.

a beginner's guide to egyptian CVs

The Egyptian CV has a specific purpose: to share as much information as possible about a person's life. It is not, i repeat, it is NOT with the purpose to get an interview.
The only differentiating aspect between the business people and non-business people is that business people can align fonts and make it look presentable to semi-presentable.

The following tips should be helpful in writing an egyo-style CV:
1) Write as much information as possible: marital status, military status, children, anything you want to share
2) Put your age - it's the first thing people look at when determining your eligibility
3) Write down each and every single training course you've attended even if it's a 4 hour training 10 years ago
4) Exagerate and make things more grand than they actually are: you can do so by adding words like advanced, master, senior, extensive, expert
5) List down every single job you've ever had; even the time you've sold juice in the Viva Bianki festival on the beach
6) It's not necessary to note down achievements, just describe what you do
7) It's also not necessary to start your sentences in the same format, just write what you feel
8) Share every skill you have, even the one you've obtained in 1993 learning how to work with DOS and windows 3.11
9) Spell check is optional
10) unified font styles and sizes are optional
11) Length shows strength, a one pager means you've not done much - so don't embarass yourself
12) Hobbies should be included; riding horses in parks and long walks on the beach says a lot about your ability to work and produce output
13) If you have any additional nationalities add them, you'll look cool
14) It's vital to mention if you have a car and can drive, even if you're applying for desk jobs
15) Insert cool logos from the companies you work for - it'll add some color and keep people awake while they read your 5 page long CV

And finally if you want to be really cool, include a page at the end with Quotes about what people have said about you.

On a day like today

I'm sitting in my car, Lou - the new radio guy for the morning show - is playing great tunes that put you in a good mood, and drowns off the annoying sound of his ditsy co-host.
The sun is shining nicely at a perfect angle , it's not in your face but you can feel its positive vibe. I can feel it reflecting that golden glow of my freshly washed and semi-straightened hair.
I look over to the side, and i see the pyramids. A majestic sight that is still breath taking for the millionth time. It makes me smile.
I remember something; i missed the Giselle Buenchen billboard on the highway. My daily ritual of envious glares at Giselle's long thin arms, perfect hair and flawless skin has been interrupted today. This must be a good sign. I feel guilty about postponing my gym membership, the fact that i only had an omlet yesterday provides little consolation...and there we go: good sign is gone. Damn you Giselle!
Giselle happens to be the ex-girlfriend of Leonardo DiCaprio, who, since the Departed and Blood Diamond, has finally managed to sever his ties with Titanic in my mind and therefore been appointed as default male in any dream or fantasy, filling in for when a real person decides to walz in. Leo's been filling in for a while...
One more reason to shout " why god why" every time i see Giselle's billboard.
The traffic slows, then picks up again, then slows down. There's an air of sad resignation to the injustice of the cruel cairo roads. It's been 7 months of construction, the phases of grief have passed and now hover around the sad and miserable phase of acceptance. No honks, no shouts just cheeks resting on hands, long pensive thoughts and deep patient sighs of resignation.
Alanis blasts through the radio with one hand in her pocket. Singing along, i reach my destination.
It's going to be a good day.

Mrs. Amal Soliman, you're booked!

Even though this day is far from soon, on that day when i do decide to tie the knot, i now know who is the ma'zoun (notary) that will do the job!
It's Mrs. Amal Soliman, who is the first woman in the Muslim world to be appointed to conduct Muslim marriages.
I am sure by then i'll have lot's of women to choose from, but i think i'll go with Amal...
Maybe by then i'd be allowed to sign my own marriage certificate, not have my father or do it for me - blood pressure rising...face turning red.... relax, breathe, count to ten - ok i am fine!

It's a bit funny, they've been talking about this for a while, same as they did with female judges. Everyone is against it, even some poor misguided women who've been breeded to think they have half a man's brain and reason just because of the inconvenience of mensturation. (if you think it's a gift, you've obviously never had it)
You think that it's not gona happen - but our dear old HosHos with is obliging government decides, who gives a fuck about my backward people think, i am doing it anyway.
If only i had 0.1% doubt that he did it out of his conviction of equality and fairness and not his desire to please mama amrika, i'd maybe still have an ounce of respect for that man.

But regardless of the reason, it's done - and good on ya Mr. President, you've done something right!

I can't wait!!!!

One degree of separation to my favorite rockstars

Last week i met Zinny J. Zan the original lead-singer for the 80's Glam metal band Shotgun Messiah (1986-1990).



Yep, he's one of those dudes!
I never thought i would work in the same company as a real ass rockstar!

Wikipedia offered more info about him than he wished to share with us, i guess it's not fun to be on wikipedia huh?

But i guess he might top the chart of the most interesting people i've met. But that's mainly coz now i can officially say that between Aerosmith, Bon Jovi and myself is only ONE degree of separation.

i can be a bit vain sometimes :)

The future Mr. Superluli

*sigh*

Give Gaza to the Gyppos?

So that's the mainstream thought now?
Have we become the dumping ground for the world's rejects?

Everyone is looking at Gaza like it's this plague (i am not saying whether i agree or disagree with this). From this perspective it means that the mainstream now is to think - oh, israel's getting such a headache from those gazans, let's give them to the egyptians coz it's ok for them to eat shit.
WTF?

What a nice reality check to see how the world really views our country! Egyptians rejoice, your failure to get off your fat bums and fix your country has paid off. Ba2ena Zebalet el 3alam mel 2a7'er!

P.S. just to be clear: i am not saying i believe that gaza/gazans are bad - it's the world that views them as this evil thing. whether they are that or not is not the question here. so please, spare me the hate mail!

Sights and Sounds of the Cairo Airport

7 pm on a Monday night and the Airport is bustling. Flights to Riadh, Beirout, Damascus and all those other Arab countries are leaving. Morocco’s just scored another goal bringing its total score to 4 against Namibia’s 1. Some 20 Moroccans are boarding my flight gleefully watching the big plasma screen TVs across the different corners of the Airport, and some hundred Egyptians secretly thinking “we’ll show those Moroccans when we play them” but half-heartedly praying we never have to play them.
I make myself comfortable in my seat, and start calling everyone I know to keep me entertained while we wait.
The flight attendant was very nice/flirtatious. He seems to think I am gorgeous. I responded with "enta kollak nazar" (which sort of means you’ve got a correct eye on things). I look in the mirror in the bathroom, let my hair down and decide he’s right. I told him I am engaged so he stops flirting. He’s old.
8:30 pm on a Monday night and the Airport is still bustling. This time all the travelers have gone, except for us – our flight got delayed to 4 am because of bad weather in Casablanca. The airport staff and security are dutifully watching another football match. Our TV screen is not on. There’s French commentary from the TV from the next waiting hall. One team is wearing green and the name Drogba keeps being repeated. It’s probably Nigeria. The other team seems to be Ivory Coast but I’m not sure. The Airport staff and security are excited, they are cheering and ooohing and aaahing at every play. It’s hard to tell who they’re supporting, I am more inclined to say Ivory Coast, because they fear a match between Egypt and Nigeria.
The most adorable little boy is crying. His cheeks are so red coz it’s very warm and his mommy won’t take his coat off. I don’t usually find kids adorable, especially when they cry. But this one is just so cute, big brown eyes and chubby cheeks and all. He’s Moroccan. I wink at him and his eyes widen, making him even more adorable.
This doesn’t sound like me.
The couple right opposite me just kissed. They’re not cute.
They just announced another flight, the woman making the announcement has an annoying French accent that accentuates every single letter. “Egypt Air annonce le depart do son vole numbero 685 a riadh”. Then she put on this fake British accent and repeats the same in English.
They promised us a hotel till 4 am, and just called the Business Class passengers. I hope we start moving soon. I hope the hotel has internet.
But it’s ok, I have good movies, and good books with me.
8:45 pm on a Monday night and the Airport is getting quieter. There’s just the French commentary from the TVs and the whispers of the bored passengers waiting. Even the little kids are quiet. Our cheeks aren’t as red – it’s getting breezier in here. I don’t know where the breeze is coming from.
Some Americans just walked in, it’s getting louder. They seem to have an annoying George-Bush-kinda-accent. They are your typical western tourists here on some packaged trip with minimal interaction with Egyptians, coz who wants that!
It’s going to be a long night.
9:00 pm on a Monday night and the Airport is the same. A rude security personnel comes and tells everyone to exit the gate so they can get checked by security. An old Moroccan woman tries to explain to him that we’re from the previous flight and we are waiting for further instructions. He’s not listening and being rude, she’s clearly offended by the vulgar way he’s speaking. I tell him off for not listening to what we’re saying. His response is rude. Some one else calls him on his rudeness but we quietly obey his instructions. The Americans don’t understand what’s going on. I explain to them that they need to exit the gate so they can check their hang luggage. And a wise-ass American says “oh you mean coz they didn’t do their job in the first place”. I understand his frustration.
10:00 pm – I didn’t think this post would be that long. We’re on the bus. Most of the passengers decided to wait in the Airport because they want to send us to a hotel in Haram. Haram is at the far west of Cairo. The airport is at the far north-east of Cairo. It would take us two hours to get there. A hot shot journalist is fighting with the Egypt Air officials and promising to publish this and escalate to higher officials (a very standard threat in Egypt). The Egypt Air official shows exemplary customer service skills by telling him “if you don’t like this, then go complain” (a very standard comeback to the threat in Egypt).
11:37 pm on a Monday night and we are at the Cataract Hotel in Sakkara Road, Haram. No information has been given on when we should get up, and what will happen next.
Egypt Air’s organizational skills are abysmal at best. Security levels on this whole situation are poor. We do not have our luggage; I do not know how it will be handled in the morning. Anyone could have left without noticing. I hope they do not put any luggage on that plane without verifying the owner and checking its safety. But it’s Egypt; so I rely on mere hope and not faith.
5:00 am on a Tuesday morning and we’re back at the Airport. An Egypt Air official came on the bus and actually asked us if we’re all present, and if anyone is missing. Interesting! I guess keeping count is an alien concept to them. By now the passengers of flight 847 are almost certain that this was all a not-so-elaborate ploy to put us on the next flight which departs at 7 am, because they did not feel like operating two flights at about 20% occupancy. I made my mother check the weather conditions in Morocco; humidity was at 95%, it was foggy and visibility was 4 km. I do not know if this is suitable flying conditions or not. (I found out later that there was actually too much fog and all planes to Casablanca we re-routed)
5:39 am on a Tuesday morning and I am sipping my hot drink. As I approach Starbucks I notice a familiar logo next to it. It’s Coffee Bean. I am thankful I decided to head towards Starbucks since they lead me to my ultimate Chai Latte addiction that is in Coffee Bean. I am sitting with McDonald’s on my left, Starbucks on my right, Cinnabon in front and Coffee Bean to my back. And I am in Egypt. Sweet huh?
This post has lasted too long.
Our flight leaves at 7 am. This is my 32nd trip, and probably my 55th flight, so I am not bitter. The odds are good: 1 horrible flight in 55 flights? I can live with those odds. It gets very gloomy if we make those odds exclusive to Egypt Air flights. But I won’t go there.
On our flight we have an Echo, reclusive and alone, a John Locke who is old and thinks he knows everything, we have a Charlie that looks all doped up and we have a Jack Shepard who takes the lead.
I watch too much TV…
11:10 am on a Tuesday morning. We’ve just landed in Morocco.
I have a meeting a 120 KM away that starts in less than 3 hours.

The End

P.S. if you’ve made it so far, I’ll take you out for a Chai Latte. You deserve some compensation for those 10 minutes of your life you’ve just wasted.

40 years of shame

On April 5th, 1968 Robert F. Kennedy's delivered a speech called " the mindless menace of violence in America"
The following is in my opinion the most powerful part of an overall great speech:

"When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a
lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when
you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or
your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but
as enemies – to be met not with cooperation but with conquest, to be subjugated
and mastered.
We learn, at the last, to look at our bothers as aliens, men
with whom we share a city, but not a community, men bound to us in common
dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear – only
a common desire to retreat from each other – only a common impulse to meet
disagreement with force. For all this there are no final answers."

RFK started his speech saying "This is a time of shame and sorrow"
He could have delivered this speech this morning and it would still hold the same validity; the same truth as is did 40 years ago.
He could have delivered this speech to every nation in the world today and it would still hold the same validity; the same truth as it did for the US.

Maashi ya harry

Harry is jealous coz i never posted about him - but posted about other people, so here goes.
This is Harrison everyone, and he knows how to throw a party :)
He's blessed with the ability to get to know every living person on the face of the earth, and fills our Cairo life with excitement because of his excellent planning ability and tactics.
He also enjoys flattery and doesn't mind demanding it from his poor friends (like me)

Guess who's coming to scrabble night,,,again!

It's Mr. Luke Bonney!

As i was sleepily getting dressed yesterday morning i thought my day was meticulously planned out. Embassy meeting at 9 to renew visa, back home, shower, work, cook, scrabble, sleep.

Well that all happened, but with a little twist.

A frantic call from a freaked out Luke at 8:30 am revealed he had overslept and missed is flight. He woke up 1 hour after his flight had left Cairo.

So the multi-tasking began! While meeting with the embassy official, and arranging my own very confusing travel arrangements for the next two weeks i was on the phone with Delta Airlines to fix this. Wiggling out of a penalty was not possible because Delta is nothing in Egypt.

So i met up with Luke, we got him seat on the exact flight the next day and then headed to Gezira Club for breakfast and a walk around the gardens. All the while Luke kept trying to kick himself in the butt and i got a kick out of his poor-ass situation :P

If you'd told me two days ago that this is what would be on my couch on Tuesday, I'd tell you that's a load of crap.
So while Luke and my bro slept and snored i worked, showered, watched balls of fury (hilarious movie) and whipped up some amazing lasagna (with the help of purvi's instructions and Nis advice)

The most priceless moment is when i told Nisrin "Come, i want to show you something" and i pulled her to the living room so she can see who's on the couch. I laughed SO hard!
Next came Dave's reaction - he sees Luke, thinks for a split second "oh there's Luke" then realizes that he shouldn't be here, stops for a minute then says "well, first off, i am glad to see you - second, whahaat?"

Then there was Annika and Kathleen who were also hilarious - i had fun :D

So after the good food - we started with the scrabble. It was a very very shameful scrabble board, we all sucked SO bad i don't even know who won.

I guess last week the ending was too unrealistic, we had to be snapped back into reality as the loosers we are! (great loosers, but still... loosers :P)

Finally, at 4 am - with the help of 5 alarm clocks and 2 people - Luke got up, took the taxi and made it to his plane.

I think i'll let him fill in the rest when he finally blogs about this...

I am still inclined to laugh every time i think about this day..

Back to the grind

It's over, khalas! no more, finito. In 7 hours i have to be up and get ready to go to work. I feel like a school kid about to start school after a long summer break. Except school kids are excited about seeing their friends and giggling about what they did during vacation.
My best friend at work is the computer screen - and it's a pretty darn nice one.
My lunch buddy is the Ahram newspaper.
I work with 400 other people, and i could not be less interested in any of them. Conversations about the weather and airport stories are what we talk about, and i know no one is interested anything more.
See relationships at work in Egypt are very superficial. Because you never leave home you keep the same friends since kindergarten. And you keep acquiring more and more friends, so by the time you graduate from college you're set. People at work are mere acquaintances and connections.
It's kinda sad, work is where i spend most of my time - in a day of 24 hours i spend 9 hours at work 3.5 hours in my car, 7 hours sleeping, 0.5 hours getting ready in the morning leaving 4 hours for other things - food, fun and friends.
Spending most of your time with strangers is a sad choice, yet almost all of us choose to do it.
Tomorrow morning; I am going to try really hard to stop myself from doing a countdown to the next time i am on vacation, it's just not that motivating - but i have a feeling i'm going to struggle with this.
I may not be that happy about going back to work, but going back to my job is quite alright - and i plan to be very efficient in hopes that my efficiency will cheer me up a bit.

Work, adulthood and life...
No body said it was easy, no body said it would be so hard

yet another farewell post

In an epic night, the weekly scrabble crew has officially said good-bye to Luke. Don't bother checking his blog - it's BO-RING!
The night started with me in what i call the "show-dance" mood. People in my apartment building enjoyed a rendition of luli-in-the-bath which covered artists like Audry Hepburn, Elvis, Beyonce and Mariah Carey. All the while Luke and Nis were not so enthusiastic about my jumping up and down..suckers..

On the menu, i made some home made brownies and some instant Betty Crocker mashed potatoes. Me and The Nis made stir fried veg, and Luke - the "man" - was very proud of his steak - which was truly delicious.
Note: Luke's last name is apparently an old Irish term for gay, coincidence?

After a lovely meal, i got started on kicking some English-native-speaking ass. It was an epic game. We were all so close, and each of us took the lead at one point in time. We also covered the whole board with games - north, south, east and west. It was about time we learned how!

















After consistently being in our scrabble crew for 4 whole months, Luke is leaving us with no replacement. He also leaves the scrabble night in need of some testosterone and me in need of someone to be passively aggressive towards.
We all stayed up till 4 am talking and following the primaries and Luke was overly comfortable in my colorful apron. You can tell he's going through a whole lot of separation anxiety.

He might not have been the most challenging scrabble player like the uber-smart Annika, or the most contributing cook like the oh so yummi Kent but he surely was an entertaining piece of eye candy ;-P

There will definitely be a scrabble reunion sometime in the future. Till then we'll be busy interviewing new candidates for the new opening in our scrabble crew.

what? 2008 already?

yeah yeah, the required new year's post - predictable, i know!
So 2006 witnessed no big resolutions, celebrated in dahab and made my first pot of rice.
By December 2006 i was so relieved that year was over!
So i made my 2007 resolutions - 2007, the year of LULI. Oh and it was!
I moved into an awesome apartment that i furnished myself (with generous donations from my family), dropped two sizes, bought my own car and named her Battouta after the traveller "ibn battouta", spent a over 75 days outside Egypt, travelled to Sweden for the 10th time, walked in markets in Morocco, had dinners in Algiers, went dancing in Tunisia, had the spiciest pasta in Ethiopia, took a boat in the canals of Copenhagen, shopped myself to near-bankruptcy in Malmoe, froze my ass off in September in Vienna and went sandboarding in the dunes of Siwa.
I fixed my deviated septum and vowed to avoid surgeries unless absolutely necessary.
2007 was indeed the year of Luli!
My resolutions were:
1) stop drinking pepsi/coke
2) low carbs
3) visit the US

i did not accomplish any but still managed to have an awesome year!
so 2008, I'll let it fly by and see where life takes me, and my resolutions are different:

1) Be a nicer person! a little less road rage, a little more smiles and a whole lot more friendliness is planned for 2008

2) Be more active - a little less conversation a little more action!

3) Study! nail that long overdue statistics exam, take the GMATs and the TOEFEL

4) Give,,,,,,time energy and money to a well deserving cause

so 2007, that's a wrap....

2008, bring it on,,, bee-atch!